navigation in real time

Recovering my balance
in the gravity-less place
between two persons
I am trying to orient myself
within a three-dimensional starscape - suddenly
there is no
right way
up.

What you are saying
spins my own compass like a clock like a
gyroscope
in free-fall.

How can that reality you are describing without even acknowledging its unreality
exist?

How can you say such words

when they upset my entire navigational system
in a Universe so vast
so incomprehensible
it is necessary to navigate with care
by instruments individually delicately carefully calibrated

to Truth?

(It is Truth when I know it.)

My universe is tilting shockingly
again
to let you continue connecting
conversing is threatening my hold on sanity on the moorings that
make me feel attached
in space.
So I violently
counterbalance
again consider breaking our hold
so I can be still, if alone
in the far reaches of the darkness

between

persons.

Help me help me help me I scream in the unutterable silence that ensues.

But my Truth is not enough to hold me
in the security of the contact I need.
The stars are still but so far, so cold.

So . . . it is the
dizzying,
nauseating
perpetually surprised
unsureness of an

open spirit,

or a stable slow death by sensory deprivation
in the airless soundless darkness

surrounding us all...